Who am I, could you just tell me? I don't want perfect akltg answers, all the, "Oh I'm a champion/winner". I don't like faking it till I make it, I've never believed in it, I never will. I don't know why I'm behaving like this, I don't know. Maybe people who don't know me and prolly never ever will would think I'm doing this for attention or whatever, and I say, Go ahead. My mind's in a whirl, and even though 07 has passed, I think somehow i can't let go. I know that's just an excuse, cos 2007 isn't the main reason, I just don't want to face the main reason. I can't come to terms that, maybe I'm not that person I thought myself to be. 2008 has been so great for so many people, I don't know if i'm putting a dampener on people at times :O And whoa, coach. I feel I've got too much on my shoulders, but that's okay. It's the feeling that I know I can't reach all those expectations, I can't be the perfect student/coach/daughter/niece/friend/cousin/mentor/mentee/Christian/person. And that feeling is one of, I don't know, Emptiness. I really don't know how to put it, or maybe i'm not even trying. I just feel like being the coward that I really am, and just give up. On myself, on the world, on everything. (But friends, not you, definitely not you)



Jem, once again, you never fail to make me cry buckets of tears for you. Come home, please? :'C