Main

2008-03-13T09:25:00.002+08:00

THIS, IS JASLYN

Jaslyn makes me happy, she's sweet, she makes me go high and she's veh veh veh patient when teaching me biology. She's the cutest prefect you'll ever find. No, scrape that. She's the cutest person you'll ever find who detests msg and who's a ball(HAHAHAHAAHAH) of fun.
Jaslyn! Thank you, for those five days during Obs, for being so crazy, for being so caring(cough cough), for doing the silliest things ever(like, screaming 'father abraham'), looking like an idiot with me, being obsessed with your yoyo, getting high on Orange Juice, not eating chocolates, and those weird stuff you do :) Thank you, for everything :) Yay I lubbbb you Jaslyn Shi.

2008-03-13T09:13:00.002+08:00

I'm lazy to blog. So here's it, in point form.

Tuesday:

Went to Deniisha's
Ate
Watched Juno
Ate
Step Up 2 couldn't load, I was pissed
Ate
Watched The Last Kiss halfway
Ate
Screamed
Ate

Wednesday:

Met Natasha
Ate
Watched Dramas
Ate
Tuition
Ate
Americal Idol
Ate
Sleepover at Nat's
Ate
Talked
Ate
Screamed
Ate
Behaved like possessed children
Ate
Talked. A lot.
Ate
Spitted food at each other
Ate
Ordered food
Ate
(And because Nicky was so nice, he had extra thaipan and he gave us!)
Ate
Gossiped. A lot.
Ate
"OMG HANNAH ! IT'S SIX ALR!!!"
"BUT I WANT SOME MORE FOOD!!!"
(Nat gives her evil smile)
"Aiya okay okay la. And I wanna talk to you kkkk."
(Nat gives her normal smile)
Ate
Ate
Ate
Ate
Ate
Nicky drove me home at seven.
Slept.
(Got awoken by Deniisha. Grr)
Ate
Neopets
(OH AND IM SUPPOSED TO SHOWER NOW)

Okay that sums it up :) And i haven't studied(besides tuition) for the whole holidays! Oh crapzilla.

2008-03-03T18:07:00.005+08:00

Thank you God, for giving your only Son to die on the Cross, for Our sins. Thank you, for your love, and acceptance. And for giving us worth when no one else would :)

2008-03-02T12:50:00.002+08:00

Firstly, Happy Belated Birthday to Ho Bing Hui :)
Secondly, I went for the bbq/coach trng yesterday :) I'm glad I did. Okay I'm gonna do my best to remember who I saw! Joey(Awww cheer up kay,you sound so upset), Rystine, Donavan, Jiayu, Cheryl Liew/Tham, Kyrie, Theresa, Ben Choo(Yay thank you for Sushi!), Julian, Anhong, Marjorie, Kenny, Tian Jun(New friend!), Cathleen, Ally, Eugene, Peh, Chuan Lay, Wesley, Sean, Dean, Cong/Pineapple, Bay, Yu Yuan, Arul! And I think that's about it :) As in the rest are either new coaches, or I don't know them, or I forgot, or they're outdoor coaches :) Pictures with the rest, I'll get them soooon :)

Bay, Kyrie, Joey, Remember! :)

2008-03-02T12:32:00.003+08:00

Quiz One

1. Last person you had a deep and meaningful conversation with?
Donavan Teo

2. What does the 10th message in your inbox say?
I miss you ):

4. Pick 1 person you trust with your life?
Mommy

5.what was the last thing you ate?
Sandwich

8. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?
Nope!

9. Are you ticklish?
Depends on who tickles me

10. Have you ever worn a crown?
Yeeeeeeeeees

11. Last time you've seen fireworks?
New Year's

12. Who is the last person that left you a text message?
Natasha Sadiq

14. Do you have a little black dress?
Yes

16. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Deniisha Chand

18. Are you missing someone?
Nope. I'm missing a lot of someones.

19. Reason behind why you last cried?
Felt so much of God's presence during service last week

20. How much cash do you have on you?
$0 (Hahah, I'm a poor kid)

25. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Wo bu zhi dao, cos daddy does it for me

26. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret which would you choose?
A Major Regret Jem&Aunty Nat, I wished I had told you exactly how much I love you, more often

27. What’s on your mind right now?
My neopet that's dying!

28. Do you have one deep dark secret?
A lot!

30. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
Ms Izrina/Ms Della/Mr John Lavin

31. What was the last thing you ever got grounded for?
I can't rmbr. I think it was for drinking.

32. What was your childhood nickname?
Banana/Nahnah/Haaaanah, haaaanah

33. Do you have any strange phobias?
Find out yourself

36. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
The dream catcher person in Roald Dahl's book (I can't rmbr!)

37.When you are old enough are you getting any tattoos?
No, never, nu-uh.

38. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?
Heh heh, a lot of people :)

39. Do you crack your knuckles?
No ! (See Chuan Lay, I listened to you!)

41. What colour are your bed sheets?
They're full of elmo now :) So majority of the colour's Red !

43. If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
Lee Min Ki

44. How would you rather die?
In a Car accident, with an ambulance banging me and me dying on impact

45. Have you ever been in love?
Define Love.

47. Have you ever had a true one-nightstand?
?!?!!?!?!?!!??!?!!?! NO.

48. What would you spend a million dollars on?
Reconstruction of houses in Cambodia, Studies, Parents, Godmother, Cameras, Education, Scholarships for children in third world countries

49. We are all human; do you think we judge someone for a past indiscretion?
Generally, yeah. Personally, depending on the person. But no.

50.Generally, in life, what makes you happy?
Dogs, Family, God,

Quiz Two
(I'm lazy to do now)

2008-02-26T18:14:00.002+08:00

Kor, You are the #1 Idiot in the whole world, galaxy and everything else! I have no idea why you're so ego that the milky way isn't even big enough for your disgustingly big ego and neither do I have any idea why I still love you so much! Anyway thank you for the past week(and weekend, and years to be exact)! You've been always there, to cheer me up, make me whack you and act all gentlemanly like 'Oh, no I really didn't do anything to make her hit me (Puppy eyes)', allow me to mention your crush to annoy you(eh 12 years! Do sth about it alr!), do all the stupid dares that I ask you to do just to make me laugh, watch you drink vodka and get damn high and attempt to get into your car and drive away but never making it past the door so i always have to get the key for you, and a million other things which i wouldn't say cos they're so embarrassing and I can't believe we used to do the silliest stuff when we were younger! Anyway, you should start taking photos with me and allowing me to post them online, otherwise i'll post up your 3 year old nude photos and let all your friends laugh like mad at your little...(hands lah! Dirty cheekohpeh) :) So yes, a huge thank you, and I'll see you soon, yay :)

See, i told you I'd think that what I said was super childish as well, and yeah yay everything's settled, I kindda scolded Grace(actually, no. I just stated facts) and everything's better than normal yaaaaaay I'm happy again. Gosh, i need morbid posts! (But how to! Especially since CAs are over and neopets are calling meeee)

2008-02-24T17:59:00.003+08:00

Megalife yesterday. I was left speechless, humbled, and crying out for more. That's all I can say, and really, it was Awesome.
To: Janel and the rest of the cell, mw, vanessa, nicol, and everyone else I saw, thank you :) You guys give me so much strength when I feel like crap :)

Anyway, I'm gonna give up on friendships. I know it's quite childish and I'm gonna regret saying this because of a few people whom I think are totally worth it, totally worth dying for, but majority of my friends are, I don't know. I know i've got some really great friends but friendships are just making me so tired out. I don't like small catfights over nothing, I don't like being in the middle, I don't like being pushed around like some toy, I don't like being forced to go with a particular person, I don't like having to choose, I don't like feeling like crap, I don't like being blamed for something that's partly my fault, but isn't totally my fault. The whole, Deniisha/Sella-Becky-Rahmah thing is driving me up the wall, making me go crazy till I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't want to care, but i can't not. I hate how friends have a reign over my life, and I hate how i'm not doing anything about it.

There's only one constant in the world :)
God, thank you.

2008-02-19T13:36:00.003+08:00

H: What do you wanna be when you grow up?
N: I want to be a good person, cos it's so hard to be a good person nowadays

2008-02-16T12:02:00.003+08:00

LEE MIN KI <3
Zhang Dong Liang
Ryan Gosling
Jake Gyllenhaal
He Jun Xiang
Ryan Phillippe
James Franco
George Clooney
Joe Cheng
David Beckham
Milo Ventimiglia
Masi Oka
Sendhil Ramamurthy
Patrick Dempsey
Cody Linley
Chris Daughtry
Ace Young
Chris Richardson
Blake Lewis
David Archuleta
Luke Menard
Ryan Seacrest

Waaaa My heart melt.

2008-02-01T17:25:00.000+08:00

Ran in the rain just now, it was therapeutic and it made me feel waaaaaaaaay better. I jogged to Pasir Ris park and just sat on the rocks, letting the rain wash away everything I was feeling, so thank you, rain. For letting me cry, and for the silence. I've been feeling like crap the entire week, (Here's where I start messing up and pulling my hair) and I realise, I fall short of plenty. I've been left with no choice, but to go to God. I know I don't like going to Him, talking to Him, cos I feel guilty of being away for far too long, but I was left with no choice, after deciding to bottle up all my feelings inside.

Dear God,
Thank you, for everything, and more.

Love, Hannah

Once again, heading to pray's one of the best experiences ever. I always put long prayers off as I'm so busy(!!) but once you start, you can't stop. God, thank you, for allowing me to come back into your presence, cry my heart out, and know I'm okay, even if the whole world feels I'm not, cos you've got me, and I know You'll hold me whenever I cry, and catch me whenever I fall. As always, God, You Win. You did, do, and always will. So here's my heart, my soul, my mind, my actions, my thoughts, my emotions, my pain and suffering, my happiness and everything else I've failed to mention. You've got my heart, and I belong to you, and You alone. Thank you, for never abandoning me, for never giving up on me, for bleeding for me, for crying for me, for watching over me. Your love, acceptance, and care, they're priceless. I surrender my all, to you. I'm letting you lead me, mould me into someone you'll be proud of. Thank You, for being Real :)

2008-02-01T17:19:00.000+08:00

"Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy."They kissed and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?"
"Yes, I have," I replied.
"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked.
"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said.
"When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more."
When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye."

He then began to sob and walk away.

I WISH YOU ENOUGH. :)

2008-01-31T19:39:00.000+08:00

This week has been so trying, so tiring. I feel as if my entire being is ready to fall off, to jump down the building, to drown in water, to hang myself, to do anything to cease existing. It sounds like I'm giving up, but I'm not. Just came back an hour ago from tuition where I was so tired I fell asleep while crossing the road, and when I came back, I was so tired I fell asleep in the toilet till Krystal's/Natasha's/Agnes's messages woke me up. So much homework, so many tests, so much to do, and really, so little time. And then Deniisha's issues have been taking a toll on me as well. I don't know how to help her, and you know that feeling of being so helpless just by seeing your friend feel helpless/upset? Yeah. And I feel like every little thing I do is being scrutinised, not by anyone, but by myself. I don't expect too much from me, but at the other hand, I expect the heavens and the earth. I'm a born contradiction, Ha. Chinese New Year's next week and I've got tuition on the second day of Cny. Tuition work is piling up, teacher's threatening to call my parents, school homework is crazy, my aunties'/uncles'/cousins' expectations are insane. I'm so stressed, i'm burning out already. I respect all those all-rounders so much, cos I have no idea how they do it. I've done my best to model after them, but I never seem to have enough time. I'm not complaining about the homework or anything,I don't know. I need, silence. I need, outdoor camps. So maybe, the outdoor camps thing was a blessing in disguise. We'll see.

And, to You: I have no idea how this friendship is going to go. I want it to last, but, I think you don't think it's possible. I don't know how to feel, I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do. I know, for myself. That if this doesn't last, I'll hold on to the memories, cos though short, they've been nothing but amazing, and you've been nothing but awesome :) If I have to see you from afar, I'll try to be content, so long as you're happy. Your letters/calls/texts/our outings make me feel special and actually worthy, when sometimes, I really doubt I am. So thank you, for never failing to make me smile :) You wanted to make me happy didn't you. You've fulfilled it :) I still think you need to stop comparing yourself with your bestfriend and I! Cos you're far better than me in 293487320480234823048 ways. I know we're all vulnerable in our own little ways, so I promise you, that whenever you need a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a hug (: , a cookie/muffin/scone, balloons, someone to talk to, someone to run with you to the beach and shout out all your troubles, someone to cry/laugh with, someone to wipe your tears away, or just, someone to sit down with and letting our thoughts fill the silence, I'm here :) If you do choose, in the end, to let go of this, I know I'll be upset (and a lot more which i'm not gonna say in case your ego inflates till the size of J Lo's stomach) but I'm content, to watch you from afar, and to see you smile :) After the whole honeymoon period, yknw, I think I'll still love you as much, if not, more :) Love, Hannah

Okay, Yiling just called :) See you world.

2008-01-31T19:19:00.000+08:00

We only took like, four 'family' photos, but nonetheless, it was fun with you three, awesome tentmates lah! :) The talk was so...interesting! Hahah I had no idea. Especially the _______topics and how Jaslyn lost her first kiss, Haw haw haw :) And see Jas, everything's up here already! I'll upload your weird funny face pictures soon :) Don't worry ! I don't know what to say about obs already, since i'm gonna talk about it, twice for English and Chinese compositions once I'm done with this. Oh P.s, I realised I didn't wish you here, so, Happy Birthday Krystal Goh Shu Yan :) :) :) Your face makes me smile, hahah.

2008-01-29T22:39:00.000+08:00

(For the Other group, )

(Chengho+Battuta!)

(Hi Ahlians, I love you all, so, so much)

(Chengho, You dahhxz bezxttxzx)

Once again, thank you Chengho(especially the beloved tentmates!- Deniisha,Krys,Jas) and for people who encouraged me along the way like Dee and cute people who made my day like Iffa and funny weirdos like Thahira who gossiped togt and for people like Farah who made me go out of my comfort zone, and for everyone else, really! You've all been awesome in one way or another, and for once in a very long time, I had to depend on others, and It was kindda nice :) I'm not gonna name all of you, cos i think it's super duper obvious who's in Chengho! (: So yes, You people are the bomb, the best :-) Big hug (:

Oh and Gek Fong, Thanks :) And for your quote, I think it's still quite a secret now, and I'm glad :) Thank you for being here for all of us, You've been nothing but patient and so wonderfully kind to each and every one of us! (:

Elton, Thank you, even though you're super annoying! You've helped Battuta&Chengho and hahahah you make us laugh with your funny, weird antics :)

Oh and I know the rest of the photos aren't up yet, I'm way too lazy, sorry! Hahha, but at least majority are :)

2008-01-21T20:41:00.000+08:00

Who am I, could you just tell me? I don't want perfect akltg answers, all the, "Oh I'm a champion/winner". I don't like faking it till I make it, I've never believed in it, I never will. I don't know why I'm behaving like this, I don't know. Maybe people who don't know me and prolly never ever will would think I'm doing this for attention or whatever, and I say, Go ahead. My mind's in a whirl, and even though 07 has passed, I think somehow i can't let go. I know that's just an excuse, cos 2007 isn't the main reason, I just don't want to face the main reason. I can't come to terms that, maybe I'm not that person I thought myself to be. 2008 has been so great for so many people, I don't know if i'm putting a dampener on people at times :O And whoa, coach. I feel I've got too much on my shoulders, but that's okay. It's the feeling that I know I can't reach all those expectations, I can't be the perfect student/coach/daughter/niece/friend/cousin/mentor/mentee/Christian/person. And that feeling is one of, I don't know, Emptiness. I really don't know how to put it, or maybe i'm not even trying. I just feel like being the coward that I really am, and just give up. On myself, on the world, on everything. (But friends, not you, definitely not you)

Jem, once again, you never fail to make me cry buckets of tears for you. Come home, please? :'C

2008-01-21T19:38:00.000+08:00

I don't know why what happened today, happened. I'm still finding myself, and failing at that. I hate it when people nowadays go, No failure, Only Learning Experiences, or all the t-r-y thing. Aiya whatever k, I mean I know it, I preach it, and I still keep to it. But coaches, past or present are all humans, and humans have feelings, they err. I don't feel like coaching for like, a few years then go back as a participant. I keep wondering if the coaches will treat me like another participant, or would they treat me as an excoach? Maybe by then, I would be a loner, no friends, and I'm by myself. Would they use the whole, ttp thing to help me? Or would they use the soft approach? And then again, would I be receptive? I mean, yes coaches are expected to be on top of the rest at all times, but i'm so tired. I'm tired of so many things, I'm tired of so many people, I'm tired. I'm tired of being expected to be the best, I"m tired of being expected to pay attention in class/be the good girl, I'm tired of being expected to score in exams, just because I'm a coach. It's like some unspoken agreement which I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's bringing me down. Anyway, I'm not supposed to talk about the whole Akltg thing. So yeh hah, I don't know. I'm just not feeling quite myself.

Anyway! Thank you sella, heh your hugs are so, Weird, and reassuring :) Shasha! Cheer up k, Rmbr, the post it note with only 3 words okay ! (: (And to the rest of the world, no, it's not I love you) I'm pissed with so many people now, heh. So please, if you see me, don't talk to me, don't bother. Treat me like a stranger, like the busker at the mrt station, like someone who doesn't matter. I can't stand to be treated nicely, cos then, my mind gets confused, i don't know how to think, and I really really don't know how to act or hide my facade anymore.

2008-01-20T21:20:00.000+08:00

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And i know I'll find deep inside me
I can be the one.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Ong Hock Wei, Camillus (:

Congcong/My Pineapple :-) Thank you, for everything. Even when I'm being a bitch and a lousy friend and when I'm feeling like crap and want to be left alone, you make me all happy and I'm able to forget how lousy I feel about myself for a little bit, which counts for a lot, mind you :) Thank you, for bringing out the best in me, for not giving up on me, for showing me there's so much more to life, than this. Thank you, for giving me optimism, for being here, And thank you, for being, My Guardian Angel :) Our song, Your strength, Your -hi-hannah-i'm-always-here-for-you-so-don't-you-ever-forget-that- hugs, Your sweeeetness, Your optimism, Your non-judgemental ways, Your reassurance, Your transparency with me, Your tolerance, and You. They've all given me strength, and I'm going through so much now, and I'm sorry i haven't been truthful to tell you everything so far, I'm sorry for not telling you what's going through my mind, but I'll talk to you soon! :) I've been away for far too long, I think. Thank you, You truly are an angel :) I'm sure your dad's proud of you, I know I am. Miss you big skinny fat pineapple.

2008-01-20T19:45:00.001+08:00

Hi, too lazy to upload the rest, I need to start on _________&_________'s letters, and dinner. Okay whatever i'm so tired i'm not looking forward to obs ): And i'm not talking to Lover, Heh

2008-01-20T19:20:00.000+08:00

Yknw, this really really cute book was given to me a few weeks ago from Rahmah :-) I wanted to scan it and post the pictures up but apparently, laziness has taken over again. I'll just type it out :-)

When Friends meet, Hearts warm
Friends are special people who touch our lives in a certain way and having known them, we will never be the same.
For listening and caring, for giving and sharing, for always being there, thank you.
A hug is a great gift- one size fits all
Because we can't call people without wings angels, we call them Friends
There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate
Good friends are like angels, you don't have to see them to know they are there
Friends bring out the beautiful things in each other that nobody else looks hard enough to find
Not Only do I love you, but you're my best friend (Awwww,)
You can't have too many friends, or pairs of shoes
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves
Friends like you don't grow on trees. I know that this is true, but if friends were flowers, there's no doubt how quickly I'd pick you
I can't imagine in all the world a better friend than you
You'll always be my friend (You know too much)
Some people make the world more special just by being in it
When I count my blessings, I always count you twice
Precious and few are friends like you

BBB, You're never alone. Never, ever, ever, ever in a milliongazillionfourmilliondouplemillion years :-) I love you too much to let you be alone. Cheeeeeery (:

Today's a good day, I wrote letters, Becky came over, and together, we gushed, raved and screamed about my boyfriend, (refer below),

(See, totally for me! So for all the idiots out there who doesn't believe we're meant to be together, get a life. Hahah. I love him, He loves me, Feeling's mutual so please, don't be jealous okay. Yay)

Pictures up in next post :-) Byeeeeeee.

2008-01-18T20:56:00.000+08:00

Vain pig.

See people,got hope kayxzxz, flower in grass whoa whoa whoa
Okay so lame. Forget I typed anything (And yes I know there's the backspace key I'm lazy to click it)

Yay my photography so good (Thank you camera)

I think she was trying to smack me or sth (And obviously failing really horribly since she didn't even touch me at all)

Fringe, fringe, where fore art thou fringe.

She killed like 29348723984720348923 mimosa plants by squeezing them all together and the sap vacoules all came out, super disgusting lah. (Whoever believed that, shame on you. You actually believed that?! Yay I love you for believing my lies)

Hope.

YAY OMG I UPDATED (FINALLY) Okay actually it wasn't really long either. Thank you Deniisha for treaging (treating) me lunch today yay. I know i'm tpyping typing like shit but i'm sorry like I said i'm too lazy to click backspace so you have to live with my lousy typing teehee. Oaay Okay whatever Yay i like typing like this, I'm going to play squash now, or not. I'm just gonna watch jianghao lose his matches at kallantg, i mean. Kallang teehee, OKAY BYE BYE (PS, Bryan I promise I'll watch your mjat matchdes matches) :) :) :)

PUNGGOL FIELD SO MUDDY, TOWN COUNCIL, PLEASE DO STH ABOUT IT !

2008-01-16T19:43:00.000+08:00

The people whom you think are the strongest, who seem to laugh the most, tell jokes, are awfully loud, are probably the ones who has the most problems, the most insecure, the weakest. They are probably the ones who needs assurance, who needs people to love and care for them, to be there. The ones you think are the weakest, with no mind of their own, are probably the strongest, they just keep stuff to themselves, and know when and how much to tell others. Those, are the strongest. What an irony.

2008-01-13T17:53:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm so angry with myself. I lost the whole Akltg folder of pictures plus pictures of outside friends from 07. Ah okay whatever at least I'll take the 07 one as a lesson, and the Akltg one as a sign that I should keep to my promise! (-: I shan't put posts that make me think anymore, cos I read and get upset at my own posts. Breakfast with Joel yesterday, then met Deniisha (to get my books,eeyer) then Dinner with Joel Sim Bao Chen. Yay I love bestfriendxzxzxzx :-)

Sorry, Too lazy to upload the rest :-) (See, I still haven't learnt my lesson,but whatever) Oh,

I need someone to talk to, BADLY.

Unforturnately, theres no one,

Too bad, _________.

To the Someone who wrote this on your blog, I'm here you silly pooooooo, :-) I won't leave you in the lurch one kay! <333333333

2008-01-12T13:21:00.000+08:00

To all those who are so busy working, so busy studying that you spend more time with your friends than your family. Slow down, and think about your priorities. You may be a delinquent, You may be a huge CEO of some big company, You may be an extraordinary student with talents aplenty, You may be the road sweeper,You may be a security guard, You may be the President, You may be the Emperor, You may be an athlete, You may be an actor, an actress, You may be a housewife, You may even be a child. Slow Down

For the Delinquent, is stealing, is rioting so important to you? Is being in a gang boosting your self esteem? Or do you feel so lousy inside, you need something material for someone to let you know your worth? Look at your parents, your guardian, your family members, and if you don’t have any of the three, Look at Yourself. You can let the whole world down, but can you bear to let yourself down when all that’s stopping you is your confidence? Your self esteem? Slow down, and think.

For the CEO, Is work that important? Would you give up everything you have, for your family? Your wealth, your house, your Mercedes-benz, everything. Would you?

For the Extraordinary Student, Yes your talents are reaching the heavens, but have you stopped to think, who made it possible? Yes, You did. But have you stopped to think who have supported you all your life? Even when no one believed in you, no one trusted you, this group of people did? Have you ever thanked them? Or have you scorned them cos your friends look down on them? Have you showed them you love them? Are those people more important, or are your talents more important? You decide.

For the Road Sweeper, Security Guard, I respect you, so, so much. People might label you as uneducated, but I don’t. You’re prepared to do jobs that no one else wants to do, You’re prepared to face criticism from the public or your so called friends because you’re not one of the elites among them. You’ve got my vote for Singaporean of the Year.

For the President, Emperor, Yes your country, your nation is important. But given a choice, would you choose Your country, or your family? Your country consisting of millions of people, or your family, consisting of about 10 members? Would you give up all your wealth, respect and power from your people for your family? Would you?

For the Athlete, Your talents as astonishing, your skills have been perfected over a span of 15, 20 years. If giving up both your arms and limbs can save someone you don’t know, would you? Would you live in shame as everyone in your country scorns you for not representing them and bringing them glory, or would you do it selflessly, without a word of complaint, but instead, living your life to the fullest, and adapting to your new, 180-degree change life?

For the Actor/Actress, Why are you in this line? For fame? Money? Awards? Recognition? Passion? By force? Cos you’re good at it? Are you in this line to spite someone who looked down on you in the past, are you in this line to get opportunites to go overseas, to see the other side of the world? What’s your main reason for being in this line? Would you, like AAA(She shall not be named), give up your studies to follow your passion fully?

For the Housewife, you’re probably a full time mother, an un-paid maid and hasn’t gotten enough thank you-s from your family. Instead, you get shouted at, you get mad, you stress yourself out over matters of the house, over matters of the family. But still, You press on. I admire you. You’ve probably given up your ambition, your career to be a housewife, a stay at home mom, and you’re an inspiration, really.

For the Child, Are your toys that important? Why do you scream in Toys R Us when your parents don’t get you the toy you want? Why do you go “I Hate you! You’re the worst parents ever!” just to have your way? Why do you lie, why do you insist on your way? Could you live without your toys? Would you give away all your toys to charity? To those who can’t afford it? To those who are so poor, instead of spending $4 on a bowl of noodles for one meal, they buy 2 packets of Maggie mee which consists of 5 small packets in each one to last the whole family of seven for two weeks, sharing and scrimping. Why do you blame your parents? Why do you make they weep? Why do you hurt them so?

16 hour workdays just to Provide
Everything for his little tyke
No time to sing a lullaby
Or give him a piggyback ride
TV Babysitter, toys are a bribe
As he speeds out the doorway and the car leaves the driveway.

The boy runs after his father
But his steps are too small
He stretches out his hands to reach him
As he tumbles and falls.

Slow Down
I can't keep up with you
You're getting a little too Quick
For me to follow
Slow Down.
You're getting away from me
And I don't know how to slow you down.

I’d like to apologize to Joel Sim Bao Chen ! Sorry I made you wait to damn long today! It's not like me to be late (AND YOU KNOW IT) so don't be mad/irritated/upset please. I know you're not lah, but still. Sorrrrrrry k :O You know that i can't stand it when i'm late :O I feel i'm such a lousy friend(and I probably am) You're at mj, having your debate now and I know you'll be great :-) It doesn't matter if hsc loses, I know you did your best, I know you're a winner, I believe in you 100%, it's time for you to believe in yourself too :-) Love You stupid bestfriend :-)

Deniisha: Thank you for helping me take back my books and everything and I'm sorry for being insecure. Prolly S has made me that way, I'm scared, I'm afraid I don't know anything anymore. I'm scared of friends, I'm afraid of being in a friendship. And thank you for your never ending advice which you think is nonsense but actually isn't ! (I'm just sorry I don't listen some times cos I'm just living in my own world)

2008-01-12T12:31:00.000+08:00

I'm having a tough time keeping my emotions and thoughts in place. My mind wanders, my heart's so heavy, my face has to keep lying to the world, to keep putting on a smile just so people won't ask if I'm alright. I'm confused. I want people to care, but then I shut them out. I don't want it to be another Jeremy incident. I don't want to have close friends whom I need to watch pass away, and I still haven't gotten over it and probably never will. Even until today, I think of Jeremy and Aunty Nat daily, and sometimes I do feel their presence, but I do miss them being physically here with me. Their hugs, their smiles, their laughters, their nagging/scolding(heh), their pinchable faces, their shoulders I know so well, everything. People tend to ask me why I'm okay with talking about Jem and My Aunt. Maybe talking's a way for me to live in denial that they're still alive. Maybe talking's a way to make me believe what I said about them being on holiday somewhere else. Maybe talking about it actually takes away a bit of the pain. Both the ways they passed away was so tragic. I don't know how Jem felt in his last moments, did he get a flashback of his 24 years? Was I in his memory? Was I one of his better friends, not bothering about the age difference? Does he miss messing up my hair just as much as I miss him doing it? Does he regret anything? What were his last wishes? I regret so many things, that I never got the chance to tell him how much I love him, how much I care. That I never knew what were his last wishes, that I wasn't there with him in Cambodia, that I didn't call him so that I could concentrate on the participants in camp at that time. Was I being selfish? I Miss Jem, I can't believe that he really bought birks from Cambodia for me, and I can't believe that that note was the last, I can't believe I actually told him, "Go and die lah!", Jokingly or seriously, either way, it's horrible.

Aunty Nat, I hope you're happier in Heaven, I hope you see Adam, Moses, Esther and all the other people from the bible that you always dreamt of seeing, and of course, Our Almighty God :-) I'm glad you didn't suffer any pain when you passed away, but that still doesn't take away any single bit of pain since five years ago. How could you leave the world, do you know how many people are crying for you? Do you know how screwed up the family is? I need you here, I need you to comfort me, to hold me, to let me know everything's gonna turn out just okay, to reassure me that you'll be here. You once told me you'll be here, in the good times and the bad, for me. I'd give almost anything to have you back here, even though I know it's not possible. I regret not spending as much time as I would have liked to, with you. I regret not talking to you every day, I regret not spending every single waking minute with you, I regret arguing with you about the renovation of your house(even if it was playful arguments!), I regret not listening to you at times, I regret refusing to and buy dinner for you and would watch the telly instead, I regret that I haven't told you I love you enough, That I haven't held you close enough, that I didn't visit you during the past month of your life, that I haven't smelt your smell for five years, that we spent the last National day of your life, at home instead of the parade, like you wanted. I regret a lot of other things, and I Miss You, so much so that my heart and my head hurts whenever I miss you. I know you're happier in Heaven, and please watch over Uncle Rick :-) He must be feeling so lonely under all that exuberant exterior. I know, I've been battling that facade for ever so long. I Love You.

I've done my best to get over Jem, Aunty Nat and Radia but I've failed so badly. And Honestly, I feel so much regret that I wasn't a good friend to Radia. Or rather, I really never bothered to ask about her life, to ask her how she was feeling, to ask her if she was okay, if she needed a friend, needed a shoulder to cry on, needed someone to talk to. No, she wasn't a good friend, but she was a classmate and it's hard to live with people you know passing away one after another. I feel horrible that I really cared about the clique and a few others in class, Radia not being one of them. I want to know her, I want to know the real person under that happy exterior. I want to know her pain, her suffering and share the good and bad times with her but it's all impossible. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do, My hand, My Mind and My Heart's failing me. I didn't think I'd write about this, I was supposed to write about 07 and 08 but my hand started, my heart lead.

From the heart, Radia, Aunty Nat, Jem, I Miss you three. So many unfinished things, unfinished promises, unfinished talks, but well, I'll see you in Heaven :-)

2008-01-12T12:07:00.000+08:00

The kind uncle who gave me free Ice Cream :-)

Omgah and once again, I wanted this to be a pictures post but I really cannot take it lah ! Hahah, cos it takes forever (Maybe 20 seconds) to upload and I have no patience to wait so long! My neopets need more attention :-) And anw, We went to Chinatown and it was awfullllllly fun(and weird cos some one fought with another person!) Oh well, I'll write another post soon, See youuuuuuuuu

P.S. Hi Marcus, wth why you must insist i dedicate a post to you! (anw i won't do that, i'll just dedicate a few sentences to you! Otherwise my blog will have virus cos of your name) Hahah, anw yes I know you're back and yes I know you think I'm a bitch cos I refuse to go out with you(totally lame reason!) but whatever, I need to study, so, Understand! Kthxbye :-)

2008-01-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

I lay my life before You
Lord I surrender all
All that I have been through
Lord I give it to You now
And though I have some questions
Things I'll never understand
I'll come into Your presence
And I place them in Your hands

I Meant every single word, really and truly :) Oh and yes, to JOJO(the weirdest, coolest bestfriend), Cheeeeeeerup, and all the best for debate tmrw, I believe in you, I hope you do too :-) Spiritual Life! (And automatically I'll think of Megalife, of the people I miss- Janel, CherylT, CherylT, Charmaine, Vanessa, Natalie, Nicol and the rest and hahahah I don't know lah, I'm quite speechless today.) Anyone who actually reads this blog, remind me to do my QT and pray please :-)

2008-01-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

Thank You Annoyingest person ever, You've made me smile so much and you've pissed me off like mad (Rmbr the zoo!) And all but ultimately, You're a star and I Love You(or maybe not) Hahahah. Seeeeeee you sooooooooon.

Joel made me damn annoyed just now on msn, but whatever. Everything's okay already. Talking to Rystine now, (even though she's away for the moment) and she touched on the totally -i-hate-this-subject-topic- thing but it's okay! Hahah. I'm tired, angsty and irritated. I need to go meet Deniisha to collect my emath, amath and chemistry book and i've got 293847293857934857 tests next week and Obs the following week and it's the second week of school and i've burned out so much already :O I hate how people like Suling are so smart and excel in sports. Unfair to the maxxxxx. And anyway, training today was uh. Hahahahah. (No Comment)

And, what's friends to you? People you hang out with? People you have lunch with? People you talk to on a regular basis? People you fight with? People you hug? People you text/call everyday? I honestly don't know the definition of friends, I don't know how to be a friend, considering the tiniest amount of friends I have(No, acquainances not counted! So everyone should stop the whole, omgah you have so many friends thing. I don't.) but I've done my best, And maybe I should stop. Maybe I should honestly start being a loner, having a few acquaintances and no close friends. Then you don't get your heart broken, you don't sit at home and cry till you're left with no more tears, you don't think about the situation 24/7 especially before a major exam, you don't worry so much that you send him/her a letter every single day just wanting your friendship to be okay, you won't think of that person till your heart bleeds, but you still act all okay on the outside. To me, a friend is one, who's there for you, who knows your bad points, your flaws, and still accepts and loves you, whose house you've been to so many times their parents are thinking of adopting you to save travelling time to and fro both houses, whose hugs make you feel secure and can cheer you up, unlike those meaningful hugs that you'll prolly feel lousy after. The one who knows when to call you, when to be happy and hyper, when to be quiet and let silence take over conversations, to fill the air between the two of you, to fight, cos the making up's the best part, to say sorry to each other after a fight, and actually mean it. One who knows what's happening to you, how screwed up your life is, and is still there for you, to hold your hand and see it through the end.

For all those out there whom you know you're my friend, whom I've treated, who I treat as a friend, Thank you for being here :-)
Please don't ask me why I wrote about friends, I have no idea. :O

Maybe, Maybe
Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. Author Unknown

2008-01-08T20:34:00.000+08:00

I really, really did my best to make this a picture post, but duh it was unsuccessful kthxbye. I'll write a proper post in a few minutes! I have inspiration to blog nowadays, (thanks shasha!-again) Anw, I love the first photo! It makes me think a lot c: And then second photo, Deniisha&I, third photo, Kailing&I(A few of us says she looks like Amanda Kee!)

2008-01-07T21:26:00.000+08:00

For Amanda Kee ;-)

"Is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, &finding out that you love someone right after that person has walked out of your life. sometimes you think you're already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them, just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. for some, letting go is one way of expressing how much they love a person, but for others it's holding on to that special feeling as long as possible before it fades away. most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love, love is always present, it's just that one was being loved too much &the other wasn't being loved enough. we all know that the heart is the center of the body, but it beats on the left. maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right. most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just a pass time, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. so here's a piece of advice: let go when you are hurting too much. give up when you or the other believes love isn't enough, &move on when things are not like before. there is someone out there who will honestly love you, &only then will you know true love. "

Okay anyway :) Lunch with Grace and Deniisha today! Not as awkward as I thought it'll be, heh heh And i think i've finally come to terms that okay yay 3/2's a nice class. I mean, generally everyone's nice! I'm just a loner :O Hahah. 2/7 07, I miss you guys like mad :O Shall not think about weird stuff(and become like Deniisha,hahah). Anw, i think bio was boring. :O I fell asleep five times during bio and woke myself up. And Mrs Tan just gives the impression that she doesn't know her stuff, but it's second week only so whatever. We'll see :-) And Arra and Mrs Loe said that teachers are supposed to teach, cos they're teachers, not entertainers. And i guess it is true, it's just that my attention span sucks and my memory sucks and my ability to stay awake sucks :O (MS GILL WHEREVER YOU ARE, I MISS YOU. MS GRACE NG, YOU TOTALLY ROCK I WANT YOU TO BE MY TEACHER MANXZ LURBBBBBX YOU TWO MUCH) I'm so tired, have been texting Charmaine and Binghui. And Suling's being really entertaining on msn now even though i hardly talk to her face to face (and even though i see her practically 24/5) she's making me laugh :O Okay i'm tired, and since Binghui wanted a dedication,

Hello Patrick/Adorablest Friend :-) I think I had to sacrifice another friendship to be your friend lah wth. Anw that was so primary schoolish ! I'm proud that you're the track&field Captain :-) Yay you didn't let me down :-) Peeektures and sakae soon yes yes, I promise you! See you soon, skinny dood. I like the picture :-)

2008-01-07T19:47:00.000+08:00

Yay a thrillion million thankyous to Deniisha and Amanda for helping me revive and do up my really, really dead and ugly (before) blog C: Anyway, I don't feel like blogging, As usual but whatever, I shall t-r-y c:

"He deserves our compassion. When you see him, do not laugh. Do not mock. Do not turn away or shake your head. Just gently lead him to the nearest bench and help him sit down.
Have pity on the man. He is so fearful, so wide-eyed. He's a deer on the streets of Manhattan. Tarzan walking through the urban jungle. He's a beached whale, wondering how he got here and how he'll get out."

Have you ever wondered why God gives so much? We could exist on far less. He could have left the world flat and gray, we wouldn't have known the difference. But he didn't.

He splashed orange in the sunrise
and cast the sky in blue.
And if you love to see geese as they gather,
chances are you'll see that too.

Did he have to make the squirrel's tail furry?
Was he obliged to make birds sing?
And the funny way that chickens scurry
or the majesty of thunder when it rings?

Why give a flower fragrance? Why give food its taste?
Could it be
he loves to see
that look upon your face?

If we show gifts to show our love, how much more would he? If we--speckled with foibles and greed-- love to give gifts, how much more does God, pure and perfect God, enjoy giving gifts to us? Jesus asked, "If you hardhearted, sinful men know how to give good gifts to your children, won't your Father in heaven even more certainly give good gifts to those who ask him for them?" (Matt. 7:11)
God's gifts shed light on God's heart, God's good and generous heart. Jesus' brother James tells us:"Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light" (James 1:17). Every gift revelas God's love...but no gift reveals his love more than the gifts of the cross. They came, not wrapped in paper, but in passion. Not placed around a tree, but a cross. And not covered with ribbons, but sprinkled with blood.
The Gifts of the Cross.
Much has been said about the gift of the cross itself, but what about the other gifts? What about the nails, the crown of thorns? The garments taken by the soldiers. The garments given for the burial. Have you taken time to open these gifts?
He didn't have time to give them, you know. The only act, the only required act for our salvation was the shedding of blood, yet he did much more. So much more. Search the scene of the cross, and what do you find?
A wine-soaked sponge.
A sponge.
Two crosses beside Christ.
Divine gifts intended to stir that moment, that split second when your face will brighten, your eyes will widen, and God will hear you whisper, "You did this for me?"

The diadem of pain
which sliced your gentle face,
three spikes piercing flesh and wood
to hold you in your place.

The need for blood I understand.
Your sacrifice I embrace.
But the bitter sponge, the cutting spear,
the spit upon your face?
Did it have to be a cross?

Did not kinder death exist
than six hours hanging between life and death,
all spurred by a betrayer's kiss?

"Oh, Father," you pose,
heart-stilled at what could be,
"I'm sorry to ask, but I long to know,
Did you do this for me?"

Dare we pray such a prayer? Dare we think such thoughts? Could it be that the hill of the cross is rich with God's gifts? Let's examine them, shall we? Let's upwrap these gifts of grace as if-or perhaps, indeed-for the first time. And as you touch them-as you feel the timber of the cross and trace the braid of the crown and finger the point and the spike- pause and listen. Perchance you will hear him whisper,

"I Did it just for you."

Taken the whole thing from the book, 'He Chose the Nails' by Max Lucado. Really inspiring, Made me think a lot about my spiritual life and such the past months. I admit, It hasn't been as great as before, but it's been improving (Yay). I don't want to spoil this post, so bye :)

2008-01-06T20:30:00.000+08:00

omg! yay. i finished your blogskin for you. i'm such a nice person right. oh well. so now you can go tag on my blog! go! haha. i feel so accomplished today. finished maths worksheet 1 and 3. and then your blog template. aaaahhhh. happy, accomplished me. you owe me tags now. hahaha. hope you enjoyed funan. i'm sure you're giggling at angmoh's. even after you gushed about them on the phone. i bet you are still imagining them now. oh well. whatever. i finished your skin. now you can go update all you want! (:

Deniisha

2008-01-06T13:05:00.001+08:00

okay hi. i'm hear updating for dear hannah because she's lazy. lazy to update her own damn blog. oh well. she's still struggling to complete heymaths. so am i. holiday homework sucks. okay. nevermind. she might be going to funan. or she's "forced" to go. and im supposed to call her and entertain her if she ends up going. oh well. i'm actually doing maths now, which is kinda amazing. okay. whatever. i have no idea what else to write. okay so i'll stop here and go rearrange the order of the dedications thing. bye.

Deniisha (:

2007-12-15T21:18:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:

"Why your flash so bright?!"
Deniisha

Picture of the day: (hawhawhaw)

Don't they both look alike and don't they look like they could do with a big fat hug :) everyone now, Awwwwwwww

"reached white sands. i wanted to look at assessment books and return library books. i just went up the first escalator but then hannah called. she said to meet her at bubble tea shop. so hahahhaa. i went down back. didn't meet at bubble tea shop but outside white sands. went back in to return books and then went to popular for a while. but i didn't really look at the books. i got bored. went to bubble tea shop and then bought strawberry ice blended again. wth. haha okay. hm. went to the bus stop to wait. but then after a while we decided to go to the tampines one. so took mrt to tampines and then took the bus from there. reached ikea. went to the restaurant cafe first. but then too packed. so we walked around first. hahahah. saw lots of cute stuff. i like the red heart! hahahah. very nice. okay. walk walk. talk talk. then went back to the place to eat. i had calamari rings and fries. it's been a while since i had that. a long long while. drank coffee. but hahaha. i only finished my bubble tea there. i think i took like 2 hours or more to finish it. i drink slow. okay.
it was still early so we decided to go to the beach. cabbed there. and then we walked. i said "old people live long lives". it was damn stupid. but nvm. walked to the beach area. where i stepped on mud and my shoes got dirty. how smart of me. hahaha. but the sea water cleaned it alot. hah. walked barefoot after that. had ice cream. hahaha. we walked to the park benches there. we saw some scenes that were plain disgusting. inappropriate hand positions. god. i think it's like indonesian maid and bangla man. he even put his hand like at the middle of her legs. god. so disgusting. i can define it better. but then it'll be damn disgusting. more disgusting than how it already is. after he did that we like immediately went away. i walked barefoot the whole time. but it was nice. okay. we walked from one end to another. went to that rocky area. washed our feet first and then sat on the rocks. we talked. like about lots of stuff. we talked about the beginning of the year. something really significant. and then i told her everything. i was damn honest the whole day. i think she still can't believe it but yea. i was like on the verge of reflecting. and then i was like "faster say something." but i did reflect. when i fight with people, i'm really unhappy with them but once everything is solved, i'm really happy with them. but i hardly ever fight with people. so. yea. we talked about like alot of stuff. took pictures too. i'll put them up later after i resized. we sat at the rocks until 5.15 like that.
then walked to the bus stop. she being a crazy person took a picture of some condom ad that cracked her up. i have the picture. lets see. we took a picture with the monkey. haahhaha. very cute. okay. my bus came like a while later. then hers came. we talked on the phone until i reached home. i said i'll call her later. which i will. later. hahaha. i really enjoyed today. one of the best times i had this year. and i got to go to the beach! like finally. and we said we'll go together and we did. hahahahahaha.i had a lot of fun today. hahhahah. i love my person! alot alot alot. (: i shan't use the #3 thing cause i dunno what number to put. like 2 or three. but hahah. person enough la. you know who you are. ahahah. and lie uh. never read the letter in front of me. but i kinda knew cause no one reads so fast. that's why i didn't ask you what you thought. but i meant every word of the last part. esp the triple star thing. hahaha. oh i loved today. hahah. one of the best days this year. well, maybe one of the best ever. it's a memorable day."

That's what Deniisha typed. Nah. I'm too lazy to go type what i wanted to type HAHAHHAAH. Okay fine maybe i'll type lah. But it'll be short cos like i said, I'm lazy. Aiya on second thoughts, Deniisha alrdy said what i wanted to say so yah byeeee world, I'm watching Korean dramas (again) Heh

Deniisha, Helllllooooo thank you for today! TODAY WAS LIKE I STRIPPED YOU NAKED COS YOU SO HONEST HAHAHAHAHAH okay sorry i wanted to say tht :) But if i said in front of you you sure kill me. Rmbr th guy who like stared at your cleavage? Teeheeehehehehe kay nevermind I shutup now :) Hahah. And today's reminiscing was goooood. I love you person :) :) P.s, thank you for the letter & Presents! You look like the monkey heeehee.

And just because I'm lazy, for photos, My person :)

2007-12-11T17:14:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REBECCA WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :)

I purposely am not gonna wish her today so she'll be the first person I totally don't wish this year who's close to me,heh heh. But i'll let her find this post by herself and let her know that NO LOVE, I DIDN'T FORGET YOU :) Thank you for the past year, really :) Through the whole retained shit, you've stood by me. You've annoyed the crap out of me, I've annoyed the crap out of you(especially when playing bridge!), the clique has that all, "omg i think so and so doesn't like me so I don't like so and so" moments and it's really adorable :) Every little thing you do, makes me love you more and I don't know why :) Even your annoyance, i'll be super annoyed for what, a minute? Then after that we're back to normal again :) Thank you for holding me when I cried, for understanding where I came from, for always having my back no matter what, for always trusting me and not doubting me(okay fine except for the time you doubted me when I said I was gonna be a vegetarian!), for standing up for me, for putting the clique so high above the rest of your friends, for making me smile, for offering to treat me and such, for the good gossip, for the 'lesbian moments' when you and Rahmah are gushing about ahemahem (hahah), for letting us poke fun at you and you didn't mind, for everything, really :) And most importantly, For being you :) This year wouldn't have been complete without you. I don't know how we're gonna keep being so close, physically and mentally next year since we're in different classes and all, but I want you to know this, Our friendship, is here to stay :-) BECKY, ENJOY BEING FIFTEEN :) I HOPE IT FEELS WAY BETTER THAN MY FIFTEENTH! :) I LOVE YOU, AND I WOULD NEVER CHOOSE TO BE ANYWHERE ELSE, OTHER THAN BEING WITH YOU AND THE CLIQUE :) You're one of the bests, <3

P.s: We need waaaaaaaaay better photos!

11th Dec: See I knew becky would ask me if i forgot her birthday! :) She just called heh heh.
Marcus: Faster come back please, I miss you a lot a lot a lot a lot ): Oh and thanks for that talk last night even tho you were really tired and all! I hope it won't affect the 200m free today! :)

2007-12-11T12:08:00.001+08:00

a little prayer. sent 11/12/2007 12:17 AM:
HELLO BITCH I MISS YOU CAN YOU PLEASE COME ONLINE SO I CAN TALK TO YOUUUUUUUUUUU.
a little prayer. sent 11/12/2007 12:18 AM:
(DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE ONLINE YOU'LL FREAK ME OUT AND ITS 12.16AM I DONT WANT TO BE FREAKED)
a little prayer. sent 11/12/2007 12:18 AM:
K YOU'RE NOT ONLINE GOOD.
a little prayer. sent 11/12/2007 12:19 AM:
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT YOU MUST MUST COME ONLINE KK LATER I DIE.
a little prayer. sent 11/12/2007 12:19 AM:
okay Bye.
a little prayer. sent 11/12/2007 12:21 AM:
Sorry so random love you!
a little prayer. sent 11/12/2007 12:21 AM:
k (really) Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

HAHAAHAAHAHAH RAHMAH YOU CRACK ME UP

2007-11-30T15:38:00.000+08:00

The past week has been awfully draining. I really don't want to go into details but anw, positive thinking! So yes positive thinking positive thinking positive thinking.
CAMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:
Sk1- Okay to go into detail right now would be utterly disastrous cos my mind's filled with sk2 i'm sorry guys! I just rmbr sk1 being the best camp ever(until sk2) But yes! I really loved sk1 and because of that Maybe i didn't have an open mind towards sk2 at first but heh okay that's for the later part. I'll do my best to remember sk1! :)
Firstly, a hugeeeee thank you to pd apd, Meixin and Dejun. You have been such amazing people throughout the whole camp,and I honestly have learnt so much from both of you through different means and ways.
Joey, From a participant/coach,to a friend,to being a co-coach/coach. Thank you for letting me lead the group in whatever way I wanted and allowing yourself to just stay by the sidelines and watch. I think during June's sk4 and Dec's sk1, I learnt a lot cos both you and Pamela were not there most of the time as there were a gazillion and one more things y'll had to do. Thank you for still listening to me and for giving me a second chance after I screwed up my first/second day. There's still so much I have to be thankful to you for but there's simply not enough time. And last but not least,thank you,for the last day of sk2,for sharing with me your story and for crying with me,lending me your shoulder. I doubt you'll ever read this,but thank you Joey Lee,you've helped in so many ways. <3
The Rest, Eg, Sherilyn, Sarah, Cass, Cassandra, Silin, Anton, Pete, Chuanlay, Lionel, Edwin, Keetlam, Geraldine etc. Thank you so much for making sk1 such a wonderful experience that I would never have forgotten even if i did my best.
Keetlam, Hellokitty! (: You've made me so so so so so happy and high so thankyou! S
herilyn and Sarah, you both have been my pillar of support and I thank you both from the heart, I love you.
Cass, Thank you for the supercalifragelisticexpieledotious brownies!
Silin, YOU SUCK! YOU PROMISED YOU'LL STOP SMOKING SCREWWWW YOU :D :D :D But it's okay i still love you!
Pete, Helllllllllo! Oh gosh you've helped me so much during the whole 9 days that i was doing consecutive camps! Thank you for your support along the way and for coming down to akltg just to talk to me and make sure i'm alright :) Thank you for wanting me to be your acoach and everything,whatever you say,I really respect a lot(okay except all those stupid dances and gay words you say) Coach togt sooooooooon okay!
Lionel, thanks for being a good(eh could have been better please) Angel :) You made me happyhappy!
And the rest whom I really have no time to thank individually but have helped in some way or another,thank you :) I really appreciate each and every single one of you :)

Sk2- I'm lazy to thank one by one :) :) Otherwise some people will become super ego! :) But okay i'll do my best!
Pamela & Kristy: Thank you for allllllllll th stuff you've done! Not for a single second haven't I seen a smile cross both of your faces,and you've been giving out such positive aura that I have no choice but to feel happy once I'm in sk2 and you two really helped so much in giving support and encouragement :) Bestcoach&Chocolate, I love You both a lottttttttt (xfinity)
The rest,I've got so much to say and not much time right now,so for the moment,i'll leave it like this. I'll definitely edit this and write more the next time i'm blogging ! (: But for the record, I love you all to bits and pieces, I'd die for you :)

For both camps, I'll let pictures do the talking(soon) :)

2007-11-12T20:10:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTESTBESTBEST <3

Hello dumbbrunette (: Hahah. Honoured or not,see yr big face here heh heh. And do you realise yr face is the first picture on my blog(that stays there?!) Thank you for being here this year, :-)

22 Reasons why I love You

You don't mind when others say you're short
You listen to Becky's, Sella's and my endless conversations about Chinese/Hongkong/Japan/Korean/Taiwanese actors and how cute/hot they are without complaining
You supported me throughout everything
You love Backstreet Boys to the core! :-)
You are So annoying heh heh
You totally love to irritate the crap out of me
You argue with everyone about stupid stuff
You let what people say affect you, which is rather amusing
You tell rlly stupid&funny jokes. (Aircon/fan? Hahah)
Even though you don't like doing some stuff,you still go with the clique if the rest likes it without complaining
You get how annoyed when people don't tell you stuff
Hahah you and Becky are super funny when talking about AHEM AHEM hahahahhaahhaahahahhaahahhaahahhaahahahah
You and I have a lot in common about our studies
When I fall,I know I've got you to rely on
When I cry,I know I've got yr shoulder to cry on(even tho quite short la hoh)
You're so confident that I'll always be by yr side and not leave(but quite true heh)
Your actually quite cute even tho we always bully you heh heh ;D
Even though you're So short,you always, always bully the rest of us more than we bully you
Your clothes are rlly nice :]
You&I always gang up against Becky&Sella during bridge all. Hahah
Cos you love me
Cos you're you :)

Have a wondeerrrrrrrrrrful birthday! :) All that I wanted to say,needed to say,it's all in the message I sent you! :-)
We should get jerseys
Cos we make a good team,
But yours would look better than mine, Cos you're outta my league
& I know that It's so cliche, to tell you that everyday, spent with you is a new best day of my life♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

2007-09-28T16:10:00.000+08:00

"Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy,it does not boast,it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

God, please teach me how to love others like you love me, how to forgive others(and myself) like you've forgiven me. How to be appreciative of what,and who I have,how to be contented with wordly stuff,but how,never to stop asking for your love,your understanding and your forgiveness. Like what everyone says, God Is Love. God doesn't love,He Is love. Please take away temptations to turn away from you.

Okay anyway,science,geog,chinese paper1,english and history papers are over! Three cheers now please :) I'm ecstatic, there's only Math, lit and Chi Paper 2 left! Then there's so much to look forward to during the holidays! Akltg camps(and the people,heh), Holidays to England, Going out, Sleepovers, Movie Marathons, Talking, Midnight studying with those taking O's and sitting on trolleys, Dvd Marathon, Show Marathon, Organising school camps, Camwhoring, Studying, Volunteer work at the Spastic Association of Sg. Month's packed! Oh and and and,Family outings&Dates with Sandra Grace Benny! Ooh tht makes me an awfully happy girl with a lot to look forward to!

I think I didn't do as well as i hoped for for Today's Science paper,maybe a b3? I don't know. Screweeeeed la. Sella had this funny dream that she, Rahmah, Becky and I were spies in Totally Spies. Hahah super amusing la her dream. Went home with Deniisha today(Yeah okay I know I'm supposed to go to Sella's house ehhhhh. :O Sorry) and hahah I had a lot of fun. Hamsters are cute,I'm thinking of getting a few. Okay bye,Grey's anatomy calling meeee.

2007-09-19T20:57:00.001+08:00

I don't know how to blog,or how to start blogging for that matter. It's been ages since I last blogged or even tried blogging! This blog's supposed to be private so if i told you,or you came across it by chance,please keep quiet about it alright,thanks.

Anyway, finally met Uncle Mike, Aunty Mae, Miki and Miko and a gazillion years of their return to Sg!(Okay it's just been two months but it's been years since we corresponded!) Went to their house for dinner last Saturday and it was (surprisingly) fun once we got past all the awkwardness. Uncle Rick and Uncle David's family arrived first and it was so weird cause i felt like I was being judged since I was in the presence of Miki and Miko and both of them are living such perfect lives. So anyway,in the midst of talking about water babies to Joel and opening this car toy for Josiah,I finally got to talk to Miko. It was pretty easy to talk to him! We started whacking,reading,laughing and talking a lot! Then he told me kindda a few of his secrets? Heh. Finallyyyyyyy, Uncle Dave's family arrived. Deon is really(xfinity) Skinny. You wouldn't believe it if you heard it from me cause no guy could ever be that skinny but yeah,he is. You should see him in real life! He seems even skinnier than Isabel. Isa and I hogged the toilet for a while to camwhore Heh heh. Deon was being a pig cause he gave me this hug while he was really sweaty and smelly. Dominic was finding dumb blog names(Read: Meepokia?!) and in the end he got a blog. His taste in blogskins are rather awful! Isabel, Miko and I started camwhoring(again!) and all the pictures are in either of their phones cause my camera is disgustingly spoilt and my phone camera quality is kapoot. Saturday was a lot a lot of fun even though not all the cousins were thr! I think I finally understood what 'blood is thicker than water' means. We haven't seen/talked in ages but it was easy to gel in. Hahah it's amazing how you put >20 people in a house and it gets so crowded with noise which is really wonderful when they're people you love. We should/must definitely do it again! And I can honestly say that I love each and every single one of the people who was there on Saturday! "Yr friends will always leave you someday,but your family will never forsake you"- Mummy. I agree to a certain extent but there's really great friends in my life! I don't know why I'm blogging(probably cos some people) have been asking me to! Studied with Miki on Thursday which was also the day we had our English paper! Honestly,I think i screwed up the newspaper report and my compo. All my points were all over the place. But ah,should get a b3. I was aiming for an a1 kanasaixz. Ahwell,Geog this Wednesday,I tried a few school's end of year Math paper and i feel so hopeless. This week has been really good though Grace and Deniisha would disagree as the "worst worst week ever" But No,I think it was eventful. The whole jealousy thing, misunderstandings, Grace/Deniisha/Valerie breaking down and a lot of others who were on the verge of breaking through, it made me think a lot. About why they were breaking down etc. For the record, Deniisha,I don't think of you as a spare tyre! It's just that when I'm in school i tend to hang out with Becky,Rahmah and Sella more cause i go home with you and Grace! Please don't think that! I'll do my best to divide time? I don't know how i'm gonna do that but I promise you,I'll try okay? And no,the question wasn't the thing which sparked off anything! Don't worry okay,don't feel any guilt or stuff! I'm honestly okay! ♥ Okay gotta go,show starting. Bye all,I'm emotionally,mentally and physically very tired. I don't have the strength anymore. Pray Hannah, Pray

P.S, I Love You (Deniisha, Grace, Valerie and to the rest who think I don't love you but I do.)